Tag: john mulaney

ziraseal:

saintblackhat:

Inspired @connorsquarter ‘s post

I feel like I’m playing the most suspenseful moment of a Bioshock game and this is the audio recording I’ve found in the bottom of a trash can

Source: saintblackhat

taylormademediocrity:

spacetaters:

ok but can we like start a petition for Cards Against Humanity to make a John Mulaney themed pack because i would be willing to spend all my money on that

Suggestions:

Black cards-

• THERES A ______ LOOSE! IN THE HOSPITAL

• Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell ________

• Canceling plans is like ________

• Do my friends hate me? Or do I just need _____

• You have the moral backbone of a _______

• I’ll keep all of my ___________ right here and the one day I’ll die

White Cards-

• what’s new pussycat played 7 times followed by its not unusual followed by what’s new pussy cat

• smoking cocaine the night before your college graduation

• a 28 year old healthy man trying his best

• one black coffee

• STREET SMARTS

• shushing animals even though they’ve never spoken

• Delta Airlines

• the one thing they can’t replace

• an on fire garbage can… could be a nursery

• a sea of drunk toddlers

• a pre- y2k asshole

• Xanax

pomrania:

pharoahamunsadji:

mulaneysbutt:

lizatonix:

bobertlutece:

this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it 

There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.

It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.

Emmy Award Winning™️

I FOUND IT AGAIN.

Here’s the “horse loose in a hospital” bit. Good news, it has closed captioning.

to make it even better: 4 minutes 20 seconds long